Supposedly Sane

..Did you get any compliments today?
Yes…. a few people told me that I look cute in a baseball hat :)

Who did you last hug?
My dad

Have you ever thrown up from drinking too much?
Yes

Have you seen your best friend naked?
Nope

What’s the best wedding you’ve been to?
All my family in New York have insane weddings… they’re all equally amazing.

Who was the last person to call you baby?
Don’t remember

What time did you wake up this morning?
10:30… I switched for a later shift because I knew I was seeing a late movie last night (12:01 showing of Sex and the City!)

What is in your back pocket?
Don’t have a back pocket!

What’s your favorite curse word?
I don’t curse :-X

Can you do a split?
If I stretched for a few minutes yeah… once you do it I think you can always do it.

Has 2008 been good so far?
So far yes

What color is your hair?
Dark brown… but most people would describe it as black.

Do you use anything made by Cover Girl?
No

What’s your favorite magazine?
I don’t really read any, but what I do it’s Cosmo

Have you ever used Febreze in your house?
Yeah

What are your plans for tonight?
I already went out tonight! Went to Rusty Bucket with Rick Julie and Aaron… played some Wii bowling and picked up some stuff at the grocery store.

Are you going to the mall tomorrow?
Yes to buy Ashley’s lingerie for her wedding shower!

Do you like Subway?
Five dollaaaaa…… footlongggg

Have you ever given a lap dance?
No

Would you like to go to Idaho?
Why not. I love potatoes.

What makes you happy in life?
Winnie & Tank. My family. Fridays. An extra chicken nugget.

What were you doing at 3 in the morning?
Sitting in parking garage traffic trying to get out while people ditched my sister in line and she didn’t have any backbone to honk!

Have you ever took medicine that wasn’t prescribed to you?
Yes

What is the last thing someone bought you?
Hmmm…. Alex sent me flowers.

When was the last time you saw number 3 on your friends?
Mike! Never.. :(

When was the last time you talked to him/her?
Ummm… sometime last week

Do you delete people off of your myspace?
No… I hardly ever do anything on my myspace besides read bulletins haha

Do you crack your knuckles?
Sometimes sporadically I will but it’s not a habit.

Have you cried at all in the past 48 hours?
Yes I cried while watching Sex and the City! So sad…

How many red lights have you ran?
A few but always on accident

Who was the last voice you heard last night before going bed?
My sister

Where did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
Banana Republic

Do you use an alarm clock?
Yes, my phone

Do you work?
Every day

Are you a social or antisocial person?
I’m a mixture of both depending on my mood. Most people wouldn’t hesitate to say that I’m social but deep down inside I’m antisocial sometimes :)

Would you rather sleep with someone, or alone?
Alone…. I hate sleeping with other people because I move a lot in my sleep and steal the covers… so I go to bed thinking “don’t do that, don’t do that” and I think it causes me not to sleep well

How many people do you honestly trust with every last thing?
My family, Joe Finney, Bree, Rick Julie Aaron and the Karls. That’s about it.

Where is your phone?
My bed next to me

What’s the last thing you thought long and hard about?
If I should buy a car or not

How do you feel about your hair right now?
It’s poofy because it is raining

Do you think a relationship could last 6 months without cheating?
Yes? What a stupid question

Did any of your friends go out with any of your exes?
No, she tried but only succeeding in having sex with him repeatedly.

What’s something you wish you could understand better?
Purpose.

Has someone ever warned you about a boy/girl but you went against it and dated them?
Yes, my parents told me not to date Dustin because they saw the emotional roller coaster psycho mess I was… haha and I did it anyways!

Say your most recent ex gf/bf shows up at your door and wants to sort things out, would you?
Umm… no he’s already tried that several times, done with that.

Those of you that have known me for a few years know of my high school boyfriend, Dustin. You also know about our very dramatic relationship. We were on/off (mostly on), in love or hating each other’s guts all throughout my junior and senior year. I still talk to him pretty often but haven’t seen him in about a year and a half.

He signed up for the Marines right out of high school and has been in/out of training but hasn’t been deployed. When we dated he promised he wouldn’t sign up for the Marines when he got out of high school… but apparently decided promises do not mean anything and did it anyways (*shakes fist*).

We’ve talked throughout his training and I’ve always known he’ll eventually go to war, but it wasn’t real to me until last night that he is really leaving. He had to leave at 1 AM and came over around 11:30 and just hung out with me and we talked. Afterwards he left to go to training in NC and then is deploying to Iraq in September. So it was our whole “goodbye” moment. It was also a big “hello” moment, because I’ve put off seeing him for the last year to avoid any emotional feelings and opening a can of worms. I am not an emotional person and don’t cry often… actually I can’t really really remember the last time I cried. But I was retarded crying. Like… blurry vision/puffy nose/swollen lips crying. I mean… it’s REAL. He’s really going to war. This war is real to me now. I’ve been lucky enough to not closely know anyone there. I haven’t thought to myself, “I wonder if so and so will be all right today.” Dustin put that in perspective for me. He’s in the infantry… so he will be right in the middle of it. I know it’s been a few years since we dated and those lovey dovey feelings are gone, but I still love him. Not the same kind of love it used to be. I love him the way you love your friends and the way you love your family. Even after someone may have done some things that were wrong, no matter what, you know them well enough to know there is good in them and you can’t help but love them. I’m scared, honestly. I didn’t sleep well at all after he left and am terrified of what can happen there. It’s not a joke. I can’t say, “You’ll be OK,” like I do when someone is in a hard situation to make them feel better. I can’t say that because I have no idea if he’s going to be OK or not. There’s a good chance he won’t be ok, which is the scariest part. I feel like a liar if I say that to him. I also feel selfish because he seems so calm and collected, and I’m the emotional wreck? I can’t imagine how he’s feeling. It’s just so unfair, war is an awful, awful thing and I hate it. I wish the world wasn’t such a messed up place and we didn’t have to go to war and people didn’t have to die. It’s naive but I really do hope eventually we can just be at peace with the Middle East.

I guess all I can do is pray, and I hope everyone else can pray for Dustin too. He’s a good kid, and hopefully he’ll come home safe.

Today I feel =

Maybe surrounded by
A million people
I still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them
but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

What a day, what a day!  I am so excited I have tomorrow off.So debbie tagged me in a bunch of pictures on myspace, most of them really embarrassing, so I’m going to share them with you.  

*Disclaimer on the last picture, I was like…. 14…. hence the nose piercing and ugly hair.*

I love getting tagged in pictures you forgot about! I need to figure out how to get this blog out of google search when people enter my name… that’s no good for potential employers. That’s what I’ll be doing for the next 30 minutes :)

Today is going to be crazy. I have 4 graduate parties, and wedding (probably going to skip), have to stay with popsie for a few hours while my parents go out, and still have to squeeze in working out. Speaking of working out, my “diet” is going great. I feel much healthier… working out every day does wonders! I cleaned my room hard-core the other day and I was much more sore the next day than I am every other time from working out? I don’t get that… I’m doing it wrong obviously.

OK well I’m outa here… going to get Windchimes with my dad, he’s buying!