I found something more depressing than the “Microwave Cooking For One” book!
If you got 99 problems including having no friends, you’re in luck. For the small price of $17,000 you can now spend even more time by yourself and water ski alone:
A six-button control panel on the tow rope handle sends signals to the boat, allowing skiers to start, accelerate, decelerate, turn, or stop the vessel with slight thumb movements. The nearly 8′-long boat has a three-cylinder, two-stroke 70 horsepower engine with jet pump and axial flow propulsion, generating speeds up to 40 MPH and creating wakes for jumps and other tricks. The jet propulsion engine is safer than propeller-powered crafts and provides superior acceleration and quicker planing–the time required to bring the skier and vessel level with the water surface.
HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT? Who wants to go water skiing by themselves besides a professional?
That can’t be safe, either. I hope there’s an auto-stop feature, so when you fall off it doesn’t go racing off and run over an 8 year old tubing. But what’s probably the most unsafe feature is the fact that NO ONE IS ON THE BOAT TO CALL 9-1-1 AND/OR RESCUE ME WHEN I FALL OFF AND BREAK MY FACE.