Carey Ahr from Virgin Diaries answers some of my hard hitting questions, like “have you gotten laid yet?”
If you tuned in with me last Sunday to watch the premier of Virgin Diaries on TLC, you met CAREY, the easy going 35 year old virgin, who was supposedly on a mission to get deflowered. In my live blog I took a liking to him, mostly because he was funny, not a religious crazy person, and I dunno… I just liked him. In case you missed the episode, here’s a recap of some of my favorite Carey moments
I guess Carey saw some of my tweets, because THIS happened:
I tweeted him and asked if he’d answer a few questions for me, since I was curious how filming worked, and what has happened since the show aired, and he said yes! We talk about TLC’s “creative editing,” what really happened with Stephanie, his heartfelt apology to Natalie Portman, and most importantly…..if Carey has gotten laid yet. So yeah, here’s my hard hitting journalism………… I’m sure I’ll be winning some type of award very soon :)
How did you first hear about the show? Was it like the end of a Maury episode, where they’re like “IF YOU KNOW A WOMAN THAT HAS MORE THAN 15 CHILDREN AND YOU WANT TO CONFRONT HER, CALL 800-555-5555“, except at the end of Sister Wives, and about being a virgin? Or did TLC reach out to you?
I posted an AMA (“Ask Me Anything”) on Reddit (link here), and they contacted me through Reddit.The casting director called me over the summer to get a few questions answered, and then I kind of forgot about it. Then at the end of August, the producer called and wanted me to put together a 5 minute video of myself being “high energy” to show how I would be on TV. They don’t want anyone boring of course :) I don’t really consider myself high energy (I’m super laid-back), but I guess I was interesting enough!
My close friends all knew I was a virgin. Of course, they were surprised at the time when they found out. I’m not too worried about other people knowing. If it makes someone think negatively of me, that’s their problem, not mine. And I didn’t worry about it hurting my dating chances, because they couldn’t get much worse anyway :)I think the weirdest thing is people at work knowing. These are people who know me, see me every day, think I’m this super cool guy, but of course we don’t talk about sex at work, so they had no idea. I think most of them just think it’s cool that I get to be on TV.
Stephanie is very cool, and we’re friends on Facebook. We didn’t go on a second date, but we’ve kept in touch. I sent her some fudge today :)
I’ve had the same problem with internet dating as I have in real life dating: I just don’t make enough effort. Plus, I know it’s not like women aren’t attracted to me. There are women out there who have expressed an interest in me, but I haven’t been interested back. And the women I’ve expressed an interest in haven’t been interested back. Mutual attraction is just something that I haven’t achieved. You could draw the conclusion that I must be pretty picky, and you might be right. Unfortunately, that’s not something I can consciously change about myself.
I definitely like women with a sense of humor, and who are kind of nerdy. Confidence is important too (just like it is for guys). Physically speaking, I am attracted to smiles, and, for some reason, long necks. Petite fair-skinned brunettes with librarian glasses and tattoos tend to turn my head more than anyone else, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t date the exact opposite. That’s just what I’ve noticed catches my eye :)
6. In the scene where I’m running, I cringed a bit, because of what I said about running to get better at sex (something about cardio?). I was just making shit up at that point. The real reason I was running is because as soon as they told me they wanted to do the show, I put myself on the “Holy Crap I’m Going to be on TV” diet. They wanted to shoot me running, and wanted me to say something that related getting in shape to losing my virginity. That wasn’t my motivation to lose the weight though – it was that my fat ass was going to be on TV :) Anyway, I’d lost 17 pounds up to that point, and since then I’ve lost 14 more. 31 pounds in 3 months – not bad :)The major thing I regret saying is whatever I said about Natalie Portman (I’ve only seen the show once, when it aired, so my memory is fuzzy). I was exaggerating for effect, but a lot of people don’t seem to understand that. I was just making a point about what thresholds would have to be met if I was just going to have sex with a complete stranger. Ordinarily, I would need to build up some level of trust and affection before I’d have sex with a woman. I’m not a one night stand kind of guy. Anyway, I’m sorry I said that about her. I didn’t mean to objectify her or anything.
I didn’t go to the bar that night looking to have sex with whatever woman wanted to. Just like in my last answer, I’d have to build up some level of trust and affection, so we’d have to go on a few dates first. If all I wanted to do was have sex, I could have (and probably would have) lost my virginity years ago. I’m looking for a girlfriend. That’s the real problem: that I’ve never had a girlfriend. My virginity is just a symptom of that, as far as I’m concerned.But anyway, that was definitely the creative editing. My wingman who was encouraging me (again, I can’t remember the exact words he used) knows me – he knows I didn’t want to go home with Headlicker. He was encouraging me to ask a completely different woman out that I had been talking to him about. He said, “Are you gonna do it?” because he wanted me to ask her out on Monday, after the shoot was over. And I said, “Yeah, I’m gonna do it.” And I did ask her out that Monday (sort of). She had just gotten out of a relationship so I asked her if she was ready to start dating again, and she said no. I told her I’d like to ask her out when she was ready, and she blushed, smiled, and said ok. We haven’t ended up going out though. Complicated :)
I haven’t been on any dates since Stephanie, and I haven’t had sex. I’m still figuring all this stuff out for now :) Interviews, tweeting (I’m still a novice twitter user), and keeping up with everything is keeping me busy right now. It should be a good icebreaker, but even just doing all this stuff is getting me out of my shell and comfort zone, so even if I talk to someone who never saw the show, it’s a little easier for me :)