This is why I hate beards on men. They have ruined my John. MY JOHN.

This is my future husband, John Mayer, being photographed by paparazzi. His hair is long, and he has a beard. And for some reason, it makes him look a little overweight. I don’t get it. He looks terrible with a beard. 99% of men LOOK WORSE WITH A BEARD. Don’t grow one. You look better. I swear to God, it’s not covering up your double chin, or making your jaw line look more defined. It just makes you look worse. STOP DOING IT! For me. OK?

This is what he looks like when he’s clean shaven and has his hair cut:

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