So, the last 2-3 weeks Lindsay and Rob (Steve’s best friend) have been planning Steve’s surprise 26th birthday party. What Lindsay DIDN’T know was that the whole thing was actually Steve’s idea, and he was going to propose to her! Check out the videos, and congrats to the happy couple and my new sister!
Sorry about the crappy quality. After youtube compresses it, it’s not very good.
So I’m going through all my old blogs and I found this and while reading it I laughed out loud at myself several times. Is it bad that I think I’m funny? Of course it’s not, I’m hilarious! This blog was originally posted on May 14, 2008.
I’ve always said this, but I think (just facing the facts) it’s highly unlikely I’ll ever get married. I don’t believe in soul mates; I think every person has many people they’re compatible with. I think even if you’re not perfect for each other hard work will overshadow “soul matey-ness.” But in my case… I think the number of people I’m compatible with is significantly lowered since I’m so crazy. So I’ve put together a list of things this man, whoever he might be, will have to put up with to marry me. You could call this my “quirk” list… a list of things that probably won’t ever change.
1. When I get bitter and angry I don’t express it. Instead, I put it into an imaginary box and then when you forget to close the cereal box and it’s stale the next time I get a bowl of Captain Crunch (peanut butter flavor of course) World War 3 will break out and I’ll start bringing up stuff from like 2 years ago that I never mentioned to you. It will get ugly. I will cry and probably throw something at you. Then we won’t fight again for like 4 months… but you should probably wear a cup….you know… just in case.
2. I become emotionally attached to my tennis shoes. You know when you buy a new pair and get blisters for the first few weeks while you’re breaking them in? I hate that. Once I get a pair I wear them until they have holes and the laces are broken. Therefore, they usually stink. OK, who am I kidding… they ALWAYS stink I have the smelliest pair of tennis shoes ever. You may have to take them by force.
3. I’m awkward at accepting gifts. Instead of being really happy and excited about them I feel obligated to get you something better. I’m a “one upper” and will give you a better gift pretty soon afterward. Unless you totally screwed up (like leaving the cereal box open and it went stale) and then I’ll throw it in your face and punch you!
4. I get happy meals. You’ll probably be embarrassed. But really… they’re the perfect size. Combo meals are more expensive and I waste 50% of the food so… why not? If you’re too embarrassed to order a happy meal for me you’re not the right guy for me.
5. Since I didn’t get DVR until recently… I don’t watch my show all season and wait until it comes out on DVD and then watch them all in one day. You have to love TV marathons too. It’s not ever going to change.
6. I’m obsessed with my dogs. Not in the creepy “I put clothes on them” way (although I will admit we have put them in OSU jerseys a few times)… but I have endless nicknames for them… talk to them all the time (in my special high pitched voice that’s so high only they can hear) and always want to cuddle them. You will have to not get jealous that I won’t be cuddling you… I’ll be cuddling Winky and Tank.
7. I’m awesome at turning things around. If you confront me about something I have 10 ways to spin it to be your fault. I inherited this from my mother. Don’t try to fight it… it’s no use.
8. I have horrible genes so if we get married, our kids are doomed. My dad has Cardiomyopathy (heart disease) and Ventricular Tachycardia (another heart disease), my mom has diabetes, my grandma has Alzheimer’s, and my grandpa had Prostate Cancer, and still has arthritis, and Cardiomyopathy. Basically my entire family has something wrong with them that I will most likely inherit. Our kid will have to live in a bubble.
9. People who know me know me as the loud, outgoing, life of the party type…. but on the inside there is a socially awkward, hermit-girl who is secretly very nervous when she meets new people and sometimes compensate for this by being loud and trying (key word) to be funny. Usually I just wants to curl up in a ball for the weekend and do absolutely nothing. You have to like this too. This leads to #10.
10. Sometimes I don’t shower on the weekend. I know… gross. If I showered and got ready Friday night… I’m not going to shower Saturday just so I can look good for Tony Little while he has is Gazelle exercise infomercial that I, don’t ask me why, have seen over 20 times. I will come up with an excuse Sunday not to either. Ohhh shut up, you totally do it too.
So you think you know anyone that can put up with me? Let me know.
Just another obstacle in my way of getting healthy! Let’s add these geese to the list also including Krispy Kreme doughnuts, starbucks, Pepsi, Taco Bell, and chicken quesadillas.
ROOMBA. This is my dream, people. Effortless cleaning. Buy this for me and I will be a happy, happy camper. Thanks in advance. $269.99
Chewy Sweet tarts. This is for those of you who are cheap, you can buy it and still make me extremely happy. I love chewy sweet tarts. You can’t go wrong with something made of 90% sugar that’s sweet sour and chewy all at the same time. $.50
Swiss Family Robinson DVD. I love this movie. If you would like to go above and beyond this Christmas, you can buy me the actual tree house they live in, because that’s why I like the movie in the first place. $14.99
An Ohio State Garden Gnome. Yeah it’s awesome, right? Buy it for me! $18.99
Bose iPod sound dock. It’s sweet. That’s why I want it. Because I listen to music constantly and my laptop isn’t that loud… I need to drown out Lindsay and Steve playing ridiculous loud music! Duh. $240.00
Chalk board paint OR magnet paint. Just because I would put it in random places and I think it’d be cool. That’s about the only reason why. I don’t know how much it would cost so I’m going to guess. $25.00
Apple Time Capsule. In all seriousness, out of everything on this list I want this the most. Well… maybe this and the Roomba are tied. Anyways… it wirelessly backs up your computer so I think that’s pretty fresh. It will cost you about $300 but I will be extremely grateful.
I am stealing this idea from Christina, and I’ve compiled a list of things that piss me off. I love to complain, it’s my forte.
1. Jelly in the peanut butter jar… vice versa. SICK!!! Get a new freaking utensil or wash the one you’re using because sticking it in another jar… super gross. This is true for anything… like poppy seeds in the butter/cream cheese… Grosssssss. Never fails to make me convince myself I don’t want a peanut butter and jelly sandwich anymore!
2. People who complain all the time. OK… yes yes I know I’m writing a freaking blog about complaining… but seriously must we be negative all the time? Remember how amazing most of our lives are compared to other peoeples… especially the ones in China, etc. Now… back to bitching…try to take me seriously…
3. People who leave their blinker on. Enough said.
4. When you’re driving with someone in their passenger seat and the car is OBVIOUSLY hot and they don’t turn on the air conditioning or roll down the windows.
5. Tila Tequila. What a whore, seriously. Who raised that poor girl?
6. This is another one of those conditional “how well do I know you” things but…. people who ask me how much something I have cost are SO RUDE…. I don’t ask you how much that stupid look on your face cost……………..yeah I know… Good come back, right? Unless I am talking about how much it cost, don’t ask.
7. God this blog sucks, Christina yours was way better.
8. People at work who have worked there for a month and think they know everything.
9. SKINNY PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT BEING FAT ALL THE TIME. Seriously, do you understand how freaking insecure and stupid you sound talking about how fat you are when you and I both know you’re NOT fat and you’re just attention starved and want me to reassure you of that? I’m not going to, so shut up and stop saying it. You make fat people feel 10 times worse about themselves because if you really are fat then they’re mammoths.
10. When people copy my ideas and then say they thought of it. At work this girl took 2 of my ideas that I told her about and submitted them into this Idea Hotline we have and both of them were implemented. I was robbed! Maybe they just convinced themselves they thought of it… or maybe she’s an idea stealer
11. People who make every sad situation about them to get attention.
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